you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize