three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
