Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
