Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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