Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
you had me at cake vodka
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize