There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
