wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
