just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
