how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
