the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
