Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize