Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
that is very illegal...i love you.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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