apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
