My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize