i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
i've created a new STD.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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