My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
