Sponge bath it is.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Randomize
