Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
