Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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