just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
