We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize