your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
