Is it normal to miss your booty call?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
