how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
