Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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