My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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