He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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