White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
what day is it and did you see me today?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
