u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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