Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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