"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
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