Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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