What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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