We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
