You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
