so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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