Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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