Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize