sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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