The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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