i just had sex bonerless
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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