I want to have your abortion
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
