my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
