There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
