google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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