The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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