That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
