your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize