there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
