none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
