i would punch a child for taco bell
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize