even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
