Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
