he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
