Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
ok first of all what the fuck
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
