You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
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