I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Randomize