I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
