Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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