apparently the secret to your success is patron
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
