She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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