Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I could fuck to npr.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
