We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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