how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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