My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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