as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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