I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
