Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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