Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
