allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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