Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
