Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
