Im at strip club and am horny
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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