haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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