Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My pussy is not your playground.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
